You'll notice (the five of you who read this feature) that, each week, I try to find some sort of theme to go along
with the featured trailers. This is no easy task. I have to research all of the newest trailers out and somehow find
five of them that share something. Sometimes it's easy, and a quick search with provide tons of content. And then other
times, well, this is my entire night.
As we're about to enter, what I like to call, the mid-winter crapfest, I must warn you that the level of
complaining going on within Trailer Park will be at its highest peak. This is fun for me because I love complaing. And
if I piss someone off while doing so, it's like the best feeling ever. Why? I guess I have issues, who knows? Anyway, I
figured I'd kick off the new year by showcasing films about women.
I mean, how can you complain about women? Women are beautiful creatures who were magically placed on this earth so
that man would have something to love, hate and fight over a television remote with. The women in this week's films
will no doubt leave a taste in your mouth. Be it sweet or sour, that's up to you. That's right, it's all about the
ladies on this week's Trailer Park...
Based on the Oscar Wilde
play, A Good Woman
spins a tale
full of seduction, sex and scandal. Set in the 30's, Helen Hunt
a woman who escapes to Italy in order to ditch her sketchy past. While there to redeem her social status, she soon finds
herself up to her old ways seducing the husband of a younger and sexier Scarlett Johansson
, who is unaware that Hunt is in fact her long
lost mother. The release of this film has been delayed for almost a year now, and so I'd prepare your "I want my
money back Lionsgate" speech ahead of time.
Admit it, I know all of you out there are closet fans of the 80's comedy Just One of the Guys
. For some reason, every time that flick is
on, the thing sucks me in with its horrific dialogue and cheesy acting. God, I love it. Well, rather than make a
sequel to the movie, here comes She's The Man;
a blatant rip off with even less of a plot. Hard to imagine, right? Amanda Bynes
plays a girl who, for no apparent reason, decides to dress
up as her brother and enroll in school pretending to be him. Ya know, typical high school stuff. Of course, there's
the cutie girl who falls for her (as him) and the hot male roommate she's supposed to be giving dating advice to,
only he's hot and she's in love. If you want my opinion, stay away and go rent the original
Oh my God, I just threw up my good mood all over our new keyboard. Is that really Paris Hilton
on the female side of a romantic comedy? And is that Jason Mewes
falling in love with her? Bottom's Up
tells the story of
a Midwestern bartender (Mewes) who travels to Hollywood in order to become great at something. Somewhere along the
way, he falls in love with Paris Hilton's horrific acting and, well, the trailer for this one gets raunchier by the
second. Hey, how about for my new years resolution, I promise never to watch this film. Warning: There's extreme
profanity, so keep the sound down and the kids out of the room.
Set in 1930's Colonial India, the trailer for Water
opens up by telling us that
extremist groups had tried to halt production on the film through death threats, riots and arson for five years. With a
subject that's still touchy 70 years later, Water
focuses on a group of widows forced into exile to not only
rid the community of bad karma, but also their families of financial and emotional stress. However, when one little
girl (widowed at just 8-years-old) becomes part of the group, her charming personality begins to change everything.
Personally, it's a beautiful trailer and I look forward to seeing the film.
Written and directed by the controversial (in that you either love or hate his films) Lars von Trier
tells of a woman's
(Bryce Dallas Howard
) quest to free a bunch of slaves still working on
a plantation 70 years after the end of the Civil War. Here, Howard takes over for Nicole Kidman
(who played the same character in Dogville
what's sure to be a film full of soul searching and powerful performances. I must warn you, however, to check out the
trailer before going to see this film. It's extremely stylistic and you may not be down for that.