Hey, 2007, nice to meet you. I hear you're really into movies -- what a surprise, so am I. Maybe we can be friends. I'll admit to you that I'm just a bit wary of really getting to know you, because your buddy 2006 wasn't so awesome in his geek movie credentials. I mean, dude talked a good game, but he didn't really come through.

At first, I was very excited to meet him. He was all like "Holy crap, the X-Men rule. I just totally dig those mutants. I'm a huge fan." Two past years had delivered strong on the X-Men front, so I was pleased and excited. And he did bring some fun, but mostly his junk just felt like a mishmash of things he thought would look cool. It was like he'd trolled through some old comic books and cartoons, picked out everything he thought was popular, and smushed it all together. Dude didn't really know the X-Men, he was just a poser with some scattered knowledge.


Then he came with: "Yeah, I LOVE Superman. I'm totally all about the Man of Steel. He's my all-time favorite." I got excited, because DC has been grossly underrepresented during this comic book movie craze. But as it turned out, the chump couldn't even get one of Supe's most famous tag-lines correct. Don't get me wrong -- he busted out some sweet Superman action, but it was really a bit of a letdown over all. I hope one of your future friends can build on what he threw down, though.

2006 also claimed to know the indie scene, like a lot of posers do. He got everyone all excited for another Daniel Clowes and Terry Zwigoff team-up. After Ghostworld, I was sure Art School Confidential would knock my socks off. Unfortunately, it also underwhelmed. Fun? Sure. At the level of Ghostworld? No, it certainly wasn't.

And let's not even talk about the Kurt Wimmer project he tried to impress us with. Gun-kata can only go so far with absolutely zero plot. And I think 2006 also officially killed the once perceived genius of M. Night, while he was at it.

So with all that last year, I'm a bit hesitant to welcome in a new year of geek flicks. I hear you're planning to throw down some Ghost Rider right off the bat, and let me tell you, that's probably not going to be a great way to establish your credentials. Of course, if you manage to impress with that flick, you'll be off to an incredible start.

I've also been told you're a big Fantastic Four fan, and have been making some impressive boasts about how much better you are than 2005 on your FF skills. Casting Doug Jones as the Silver Surfer was probably the absolute best way for you to catch my attention and get my hopes up ... but you've still got a long way to go. I LOVE the Four, and if you're just throwing around empty promises like 2005 did, I'm going to be one seriously upset geek. I did see that little teaser you offered with the wedding scene (yay, Reed and Sue!) and The Torch chasing down the Surfer, and I gotta say, it looked good.

You're big deal, though -- the one you're betting all your marbles on -- is this new Spider-Man film. And I'll be honest, I expect fantastic things from you on that front. I know you've taken some liberties with the comic book plot, but if you are anything like 2002 and 2004, you know how to handle it. You're bringing back the same team, and you're building on the successes of the past, so I can buy in to the hype. It continues to be very enjoyable to see Peter Parker getting cinema love.

You really are a big Marvel fan, aren't you? That's okay by me, because so am I. Which means we've got the potential to be great friends. Or to hate each other, I suppose. But hey, I'm an optimistic guy. I'll put my chips on great friends. After a largely forgettable 2006, I'm ready to see what a new year has to offer.

It's not just me though. There is a whole legion of geeks like me out there, and I'll be the first to admit my opinions don't always reflect the general geek consensus. I can't imagine you'll fail with Spidey, but you're probably going to need to do a LOT of legwork on Ghost Rider and the Fantastic Four to impress us. Good luck!

categories Cinematical