The original The Hitcher (1986) would probably have faded away unnoticed into the land of forgotten horror movies (Monster Dog, anyone?), if not for one thing: Siskel & Ebert reviewed it on their TV show (and we're talking the real guys, not the impostor that's on now). They gave it two thumbs down, to be sure, but on top of that, they were physically repulsed and morally incensed, outraged at the sick sensibility that would make such a piece of filth. Their strong response, naturally, triggered an interest in the film and it became a cult classic. (S&E should have known better; they did the same thing to Meir Zarchi's I Spit on Your Grave eight years earlier.)

Now I know how they felt, because the new remake of The Hitcher left me feeling just as angry, although not on any moral grounds. It left me angry because it's easily the dumbest movie I've seen since The Da Vinci Code. We're not talking a misfire or a disappointment; we're talking droolingly, numbingly stupid.