Since Epic Movie was not screened for members of the press, here's what I had to spend in order to bring you this review on opening day: A $19 cab ride, a $7 movie ticket and a $10 day-pass for T-Mobile's wireless internet access at a nearby Border's Book Store, which is where I am currently sitting, drinking a (very strong) vanilla latte and trying to figure out how in the hell a movie this sloppy and stupid could ever earn itself a theatrical release. One can only assume that last year's Date Movie (which was perpetrated by the same duo that unleashed Epic Movie) made just enough money to warrant (yet) another pseudo-movie in which a dozen recent blockbusters are spoofed in amazingly limp and uncreative fashion.

Suffice it to say I really took one for the team today. To be completely fair, I chuckled two or three times during the generally witless Epic Movie, which instantly makes the flick more recommendable than Date Movie -- but if all a movie can give you is a small handful of stray and listless chuckles, well, I don't really think that's a movie worthy of your eight dollars (to say nothing of the $36 I just wasted this afternoon).
categories Reviews, Cinematical