Chris Rock in I Think I Love My Wife

Well kids, first let me congratulate you ... you did it. Redemption is yours as 300 is a huge hit. But, I see a relapse comin on as I fear many of you will make the same mistake I did ... thinking Chris Rock is still funny.

Chris Rick isn't funny anymore, and I'm not exactly sure why. I think it's partly because he thinks that the jokes he told ten years ago and recycles today are as funny and edgy as they were then. I think it's partly because he laughs the hardest at his own jokes. I think it's partly because the comedians working today are much more edgy so it makes it harder for him to stand out. Maybe it's because he spends more time producing now and less time developing as a comedian. Well, whatever it is, all I know is that until he shows me something new, I'm out. Speaking of out, let's talk about his super lame new movie.

Yes, he directs and stars in I Think I Love My Wife.

Rock plays a high powered investment banker with a beautiful wife and wonderful children. But he's not getting any at home and he fantasizes about pretty much every other woman he sees. And when the lovely Nikki (played by Kerry Washington) pursues him, will he be able to keep it in his pants?

The reel deal, this movie is SOOOOO not funny ... or well written ... or directed ... or acted. It's like he took a bunch of stand-up jokes and tried to edit them into a movie. And guys, if you're dopey enough to take your wife or girlfriend to see this movie ... and she's laughin' ... she's SOOO not laughin'. If she is, it's that "You ain't getting any for a couple week" sort of laugh. You know what I'm sayin'? I'm Out.

Also in theaters this week, a woman's past and future become hard to distinguish in Premonition. Sandra Bullock plays Linda Hanson, a housewife who receives devastating news that her husband has been killed in a car accident. Then she wakes up the next day to find him still alive. Then he's dead. Then he's alive ... then he's dead ... you get the picture. And so goes her journey to prevent his death from becoming a reality. The reel deal, talk about someone who's doin everything she can to kill her career. Brilliant idea to follow up The Lake House with another time travel movie. I now have to take back any credit I gave her for Crash as her appearance in that movie now seems to be an accident. As far as Premonition goes ... I just have a feeling ... that this movie's gonna blow! I'm out.

And another horror flick in theaters ... Dead Silence. A woman is grotesquely killed and her husband is intent on unraveling the mystery. When he digs into the town's bloody past, he learns about an insane ventriloquist and a curse he's intent on breaking.

The reel deal, no screening for critics so I didn't see it, but to me there's nothing scarier than a killer dummy ... as you discover here every time you read this post. ;) I'm out.

All right, now remember to find out when and where all these movies (or the GOOD movies) are playing, get show times, buy tickets and so much more, you are at exactly the right place: Or you can call your local Moviefone telephone number at 777-FILM.

And seriously, if you're considering spending your $10 on the new Chris Rock movie ... just sent the money here and I'll tell you a couple shi**y jokes.

--Mr. M

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categories Features, Cinematical