All of a sudden I'm in a really crappy mood. Is a comedy supposed to have that effect on a person?

Maybe it's because I just spent a week at the Sundance Film Festival watching movies created by people who really TRY to make good films that I'm reacting this way to Meet the Spartans. Or maybe it's because, after sitting through the rancid garbage that are Date Movie and Epic Movie, I simply don't have any more patience for the worthless cinematic exploits of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. These guys are to comedy what Uwe Boll is to action, sci-fi, and horror. And seeing how Boll's films are almost aggressively (albeit unintentionally) funny, while SeltzerBerg's annual crap-fests are completely and totally bereft of humor ... I'm pretty sure a Seltzer / Boll / Friedberg collaboration might make for the world's ultimate rotten movie.

Bottom line: My college professors taught me a lot about film ... but they simply never prepared me for something like Meet the Spartans. This is a "movie" the same way some drunk idiot screeching "Oooh, behave!," "Dat's a-nice!," or "This ... is ... Sparta!" at the top of his lungs is "the life of the party." And yet, every year Aaron and Jason sit down to smoke waste a lot of weed and crib a bunch of really terrible jokes from other folks' popular movies. The duo's "films" are little more than mirth-leeching barnacles fastened to the lowest end of the comedy food chain -- but by shamelessly pandering to the lowest of the lowest common denominator, these fools have built a cottage industry out of being the worst of the worst filmmakers out there. And, of course, they love their work. (Ultimately I blame the audiences, because if nobody bought a ticket to this junk, Fox would tell Aaron and Jason to hit the freakin' road already.)
categories Reviews, Cinematical