The arrival of snow in the mountains in my neck of the woods means that summer really is on the way out. It seems like it was only yesterday that we were discussing what would be the hits and misses of the season. Now the talk is going to turn to Oscar buzz and Halloween horror. Are you freaked by how quickly time has flown by yet?

Anyway, seeing as school is already in session, I've decided to pay homage to my Geek Beat predecessor, Mark Beall, and do a list of things we learned during the summer season. For no good numerical reason, I stopped at 15. From there, it's your turn to share what important lessons you will carry from your time in the multiplex. (And a special thanks goes out to Jarrette and Matt, who bantered back and forth with me in this study session.)

1. You can use a snake as a rope and its fragile skeletal system won't pull apart. They won't even bite you if it does! (Indiana Jones)

2. All it really takes to be Batman? A really strong jaw, and nice lips.

3. When faced with Tony Stark, all your hard-hitting journalism training goes out the window. (Iron Man)

4. You can get a custom Joker suit made and no one will ever connect you or its purchase to the psychopath terrorizing Gotham. (The Dark Knight)

5. Fridges preserve not only food, but life. In the event of a nuclear blast or poisonous air, they will save humans and plants alike. Who knew? Not I. My watercress goes bad after a week. (Wall-E and Indiana Jones)

6. You CAN outrun the wind. (The Happening)

7. If you want to be an assassin, just get someone to tie you to a chair and beat the crap out of you. It's the true test. (Wanted)

8. There's nothing wrong with liking Barry Manilow. You can sing his songs and still be capable of destroying worlds. (Hellboy II: The Golden Army.)

9. It's ok! Brilliant scientists always forget their native phrasebooks while hiding in foreign lands. (The Incredible Hulk)

10. Dress in a threatening uniform, carry a box of swords, and Homeland Security will let you right through. (Indiana Jones)

11. Don't worry –if you're taken captive and require serious heart surgery, even the most wretched terrorist hideout has stellar antibiotics. (Iron Man)

12. You too can be Monkey King, if you have a pompadour. (Indiana Jones)

13. A sexy Antonio Banderas accent can win over any lady – even in a Christian allegory. (Prince Caspian)

14. Despite their geographical location, Yetis play good old American football. (The Mummy 3)

15. Love IS all you need – so find someone to hold hands with as soon as you can. (Wall E)
categories Cinematical