Just going by the poster and the trailer, you could probably recognize Babylon A.D. as a bloated big-budget science fiction film. But after viewing the film, and with a few facts to put the film in context -- like the fact 20th Century Fox didn't screen Babylon A.D. for critics, like the fact director Mathieu Kassovitz has already disavowed the film, like the numb dumb clang of every line of dialogue in it -- you realize that Babylon A.D. is a bad, bloated big-budget science fiction film that doesn't even have the distinction of being memorably horrible or bravely idiotic or fascinatingly inept; it's simply an inert mass, a lump of product, a failure too expensive to simply discard.

In a near-future Europe (we're never told the year, but when someone mentions the last Siberian tiger died in 2017, it's implied that was a while ago), a mercenary named Toorop (Vin Diesel) is hired to escort a young woman and her guardian from a monastery in Mongolia to New York. The young woman, Aurora (Mélanie Thierry) has never left the convent; her watchful protector, Sister Rebeka (Michelle Yeoh), cautions Toorop that Aurora is to be shielded from the world. Toorop's taken the job for the payoff -- he's been promised a wad of cash and, more importantly, a new passport that'll get him off the terrorist watchlist that's exiled him from America -- but as Toorop, Rebekah and Aurora travel through the ruined places of tomorrow, they begin to bond. ...

categories Reviews, Cinematical