Well well, Reverend Jesse Custer. It looks like you might make it to the big screen after all. It's hard to get too optimistic, seeing as you've had directors, producers, and HBO dancing around you for years. In fact, no one I've talked to offline had heard of your new movie deal the way they'd heard about Tony Stark's – and when I told them that it really seemed to be happening this time, no one could muster up much enthusiasm. We're a beaten down congregation, Reverend. It will take some writers or some casting announcements to get us excited – and we may always wish you'd ended up at HBO.

I don't think you're impossible to adapt; you take a lot of digressions that I'm perfectly comfortable never seeing on screen. Your first major adventure versus Si the serial killer, for instance -- then again, without it, your horrible grandma doesn't come into play. Hmmm. Any chance Columbia's thinking about giving you a trilogy? Because not only could you digress into serial killers and hedonistic Hollywood parties to your heart's content, but it would be one heck of a franchise, and might give us The Saint of All Killers' spin-off we all want. (Can you convince them to animate it? Can you use the Word to get Clint Eastwood to narrate?)

categories Cinematical