In lieu of last night's hush-hush premiere of J.J. Abrams' Star Trek reboot in Austin, to a crowd fully expecting to see mere clips and then The Wrath of Khan instead, we checked our Inbox of the Future (patent pending) to see what other shenanigans the Alamo Drafthouse might have in store for these coming months...

April 15th -- An admitted sneak screening of X-Men Origins: Wolverine was preceded by the director's cut of Australia, with Hugh Jackman himself collecting money at the door as "a favor to Baz." However, many stayed to take advantage of the opportunity to literally stone Roger Friedman in the parking lot. Several Austinites returned their bongs to their cars when they realized that this didn't mean whatever they thought it meant, while others were commissioned to restrain Hitfix's Drew McWeeny when he took to chucking nearby scooters towards the tied-up Friedman -- a sight which left AICN's Massawyrm in equal awe and fear for his property.

May 5th -- What was alleged to be a screening of Piranha II: The Spawning turned out to be the informal premiere of McG's Terminator: Salvation, to the disappointment of many fanboys who had their fingers crossed for Avatar, but would settle for this instead. Compounding the frustrations was the appearance of Linda Hamilton, who proceeded to narrate the film live in person to an annoyed crowd. Tangents included all those weeds she pulled in the garden last week and that couch Jim took in the divorce.
categories Cinematical