Several weeks ago at a press conference for Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Matthew McConaughey's latest cinematic, um, effort, I asked him and co-star Jennifer Garner if this film was more a cautionary tale for women not to be drawn in by douchebags than an object lesson for would-be lotharios. While McConaughey marveled at the prospect anyone would think one of his characters was a douchebag, Garner dismissed the idea that the greater lesson could or should be learned by the film's female viewership. "It's more for men to say you have to risk love and commitment," she insisted. "Otherwise, you're going to end up alone with old-age make-up and sad and the beautiful woman is going to go off and marry someone else."

While Garner's make-up reference was a clever play on the film's decidedly underwhelming "ghosts of girlfriends future" segment – and one which, if you're lucky enough to never see the film, will never be provided an actual context - the question unfortunately remains: who is this film supposed to teach a lesson, much less entertain? Having analyzed its reprehensible characters and deconstructed its mixed messages, it seems obvious that the film was either made specifically for terrible, stupid people of both genders, or for no one at all.