400 Screens, 400 Blows is a weekly column that takes an in-depth look at the films playing below the radar, beneath the top ten, and on 400 screens or less.
Mind: Clearly we must choose Knowing.
Body: There you go again. You're forgetting that there can be no Knowing without Fighting.
Mind: How so?
Body: Just think about the cavemen days. No one would have had the opportunity to learn anything if the caveman hadn't learned how to hunt dinosaurs.
Mind: That's ridiculous. What have you been watching? "The Flintstones"? And how could the caveman have fought dinosaurs without stopping and thinking about how to make weapons?
p class="MsoNormal">Body: At first no one stopped to make weapons. The caveman just grabbed the nearest club. It was instinct.
Mind: Yes, but one could argue that instinct is a form of "knowing," and not "fighting."
Body: I don't think so. I think instinct leads one to fight. Just look at Channing Tatum in Fighting. He's never trained. He just goes in there and does what comes naturally.
Mind: Yes, but Nicolas Cage also fights, to a degree, in Knowing. He doesn't necessarily use his fists or violence, but he fights to survive.
Body: That's not really Fighting.
Mind: Yes it is.
Body: Channing could beat the stuffing out of Cage.
Mind: He could not. He couldn't, especially if he were fighting Cage in Con Air.
Body: We're not talking about Con Air. We're talking about Knowing. And Channing could beat that guy.
Mind: Cage could outsmart him. He knows things.
Body: You're wrong. That's where Channing's instinct comes in. He fights without thinking. Cage would think too much. His "knowing" would be his undoing.
Mind: Nope. Cage is a survivor.
Body: Cage is soft. He's a teacher. And he eats hot dogs. Plus he didn't do anything to stop that plane crash.
Mind: Stop the plane crash? Are you out of your mind? Like Channing could have done anything to stop that!
Body: Channing would have done something. Cage just kind of wanders around in a daze.
Mind: That's totally not fair. He was overwhelmed by the enormity of that tragedy. Anybody would have been.
Body: Not Channing. He's a bad ass.
Mind: How can he be a bad ass with a name like "Channing Tatum"? It's a chick name!
Body: Oh, don't you go there!
Mind: OK. You want to play tough? Let's put Channing up against somebody like Charles Bronson or Chuck Norris. Or Jean-Claude Van Damme. Then what?
Body: I knew you'd bring Charles Bronson into this. Bronson used guns. Channing could still beat the tar out of him if Bronson didn't have his gun.
Mind: Not Chuck. Or Jean-Claude.
Body: Look at you! Now you're talking about Fighting! Where did your Knowing argument go? Looks like we're choosing Fighting!
Mind: Are not. We are not!
Body: Are too! Are too!
Mind: You're an idiot.[Body PUNCHES Mind in the face.]