I wouldn't recommend actually sitting through Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen to anyone. But in the abstract -- after you've been through the horrifying experience -- there are parts of the film that are so bizarre that the whole thing starts to look like the work of some sick, Andy Kaufman-esque jokester genius. And then it becomes kind of interesting. I mean, some of this stuff can't be for real... Can it?

1. Megan Fox's first appearance. See above. That is the first shot of Megan Fox in the film, as she works on a motorcycle in her family's garage while taking a call from boyfriend Shia LaBoeuf. Makes sense, right? Or do you not typically mount your motorcycle in that fashion, wearing knee-high boots and denim hot pants, to do some body work? If not, why not? Hysterical -- though I have to say that Michael Bay's leering at Fox throughout the movie eventually becomes a little uncomfortable. And if you didn't think it was possible for a director to leer at his star with the camera, Revenge of the Fallen proves you wrong.

2. The enormous Bad Boys II poster in Sam's dorm room. If it just appeared on someone's wall at a point in the film, that would be one thing -- a little arrogant, but not really notable. That's not what happens here. The poster for Bay's Bad Boys II -- presumably belonging to Sam's motormouth techie roommate -- is enormous, and fills the screen on at least two occasions. The self-regard is astounding. Has a director ever put in product placement for his other work in a movie before?

3. The obsession with things humping other things. It doesn't really matter what things. First, we see dogs going at it. Why? Because humping dogs are funny, that's why. Then, later, a miniature decepticon grinds against Megan Fox's leg. Why? I have no earthly idea. I guess Bay or his producers thought this would amuse someone, somewhere. Gotta spend $200 million somehow.
categories Cinematical