Cinematical has just received this exclusive, leaked memo from the new Disney-centric Marvel. Of course, we cannot guarantee its authenticity.

August 31, 2009

Memo to all Current Marvel/Disney employees:

The following changes are to be made, effective immediately, concerning the nature, personality and behavior of some of the Marvel characters.

1. The Avengers will no longer be called The Avengers. This name suggests vengeance or revenge, which does not represent a healthy Disney attitude. The new name will be "The Befrienders."

2. Wolverine will no longer be allowed to drink beer or smoke cigars. Likewise, Iron Man will no longer drink martinis. Juice boxes are acceptable.
categories Movies, Cinematical