Following in the wake of rumors that Rob Zombie was trying to shake off the chains of his horror upbringing, word has leaked out that he's up to direct an unspecified, but popular forensic crime show. No more details are available until the deal is sealed, but folks are already speculating, naturally, that the series in question is CSI. Since the show has featured a number of guest directors, such as Quentin Tarantino, this isn't much of a stretch.

It begs the question, "What would Zombie bring to the table?" Stylistically, I can see it: fast cuts, rich colors, and dark subject matter. Zombie is also an admitted TV junkie, so it's a no brainer. I'm just wondering how much input Zombie will have on the script. More to the point, will we get to see redneck sociopaths in Las Vegas or Miami? In the initial meetings, I'm picturing Zombie with his fingers steepled in front of his trademark beard, nodding with contemplation.

"Yes, that sounds great. But where does the flesh-eating trailer park scum come in?"

The most important question is if we'll get to see a Captain Spaulding type do horrible things to David Caruso. For that, I would watch it. Repeatedly. Then I would buy the DVD. Rob, if you're out there. Please make this happen. Please have David Caruso dramatically remove his sunglasses, make some stupid quip, and then get beaten into a coma by Sid Haig, with Bill Moseley singing "Black Betty" in the background.

Truth time: My nipples got hard just writing that. In fact, I'll go against the grain on this one and say that I actually like Rob Zombie's film output. Yes, go ahead. Direct your browser to 'away from this slope-browed dullard.' But I can't help it. House of 1000 Corpses? Loved it. The Devil's Rejects? Sublime. I even liked Halloween, although I haven't yet had a chance to see the sequel. So flay me. Put me in the pillory and make me watch 'House of the Dead' for all eternity as penance for my sins. I like Rob Zombie. As lamented as the guy is amongst horror bloggers, he sure as hell gets a lot of press. And I wish he was my dad.

Zombie's currently talking up his new album, Hellbilly Deluxe Volume 2, which lead us to this little tidbit on his new label's website. Check out the full report here.

And here's a new track for you to chew on:

categories Movies, Horror