Do we really want a Spider-Man reboot? With Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire exiting production of Spider-Man 4, as well as the franchise as a whole, Sony is reportedly still moving forward on the next installment of the superhero series. But I think it'd be much better if the studio left the property alone, rather than giving us a disappointing effort akin to other reboots Superman Returns, The Incredible Hulk and Punisher: War Zone. Instead, I'd like to propose Sony go in another kind of sideways direction with an adaptation of Marvel's other web-slinger:


Know what kids love even more than superheroes? Talking animals! Sure, Hollywood might be apprehensive of a project like Spider-Ham, as it's kinda part of that post-Martin Goodman Marvel slump that gave us Howard the Duck. But in the 24 years since that film adaptation flopped at the box office, special effects have improved to what George Lucas had originally envisioned for Howard. Spider-Ham and his alter-ego, Peter Porker, could be easily rendered in CG, a la Alvin and the Chipmunks. And hey, the Babemovies have made more than $300 million wordwide, while the recent CG-heavy Charlotte's Webgrossed near $150 million. Maybe that's not as much dough as the other spider-person movies, but combine talking pigs with Spider-Man and you really can't lose.
Long before I was into the costumed heroes, my childhood comic book reading was limited primarily to humor titles featuring anthropomorphic characters, whether they were from Disney or Dark Horse or Marvel (and its kid-centric Star Comics label). I'm sure other people my age have a similar nostalgia for these kinds of characters, while a new generation of tykes would easily warm up to them, as they've done with the Chipmunks and others.

To make Spider-Ham a little more like recent CG cartoon character successes, and maybe to make up for Howard the Duck's failure, the title character could find himself in our world rather than the animal-populated universe from his book, Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham. Of course, then there's less opportunity for cameos from characters like Captain Americat and Silver Squirrel.

Now, as with the Spider-Man franchise, all we have to do is speculate and start rumors about which villains will show up in Spider-Ham. Doctor Octopussy Cat? The King-Pig? Hobgobbler? Kang Aroo? Sandmanatee? Or, the character's Venom equivalent, Pork Grind?
categories Cinematical