Recently, I bought a ticket to a movie that wound up costing me the most tedious 96 minutes of my life in recent memory. Those are the breaks when you review movies for a living – sometimes it's a crap shoot, and sometimes it's just plain crap. But while the ins and outs of Tim Allen's latest old man vanity project are neither here nor there, and I thought/hoped I'd never give Crazy on the Outside another waking thought after that day, one peculiar plot point came up again as I read this New York Times piece on the poor, Internet-happy schlub who got busted for posting a work print of Wolverine online. This man, this Gilberto Sanchez from the Bronx, is in danger of turning into Tim Allen.

Let me explain: In his directorial debut, Tim Allen leads Sigourney Weaver, Ray Liotta, and J.K. Simmons in the story of a recently paroled ex-con (played by Allen, naturally) who has trouble adjusting to the wacky normalcy (or normal wackiness) of life in not-prison. His character has spent three years behind bars cozying up to tattooed thugs and evading prison rapists because he got caught committing an awful crime and took the rap for his much more dangerous pal. What was this crime, you ask? Video piracy.