(Hi all. I sat down to write something about remakes of '80s films (Clash of the Titans has me all nostalgic), but then i remembered this goofy little piece from February of '08. Enjoy.) --Scott Weinberg

Now that John McClane, Rocky Balboa and John Rambo have made their return to the big screen -- with Indiana Jones on his way -- the question seems pretty obvious: Who will be the next 1980s action hero to come out of retirement and enjoy one last explosion of mindless mayhem and crazy carnage? I have a few suggestions...

Marion "Cobra" Cobretti (Cobra, 1986) -- After the original First Blood, Stallone went a little insane and not only directed the hilariously bad Staying Alive ... he also starred opposite Dolly Parton in Rhinestone. So obviously it was time for A) Rambo 2, B) Rocky 4, and a powerfully mindless cop flick called Cobra. It grossed only about $50 milion, but that's pretty solid in 1986 money. Oh, and Stallone's subsequent movie? The arm-wrestling one. Other options for Sly: Gabe "Cliffhanger" Walker (which is apparently already in development), Frank "Lock Up" Leone, Lincoln "Over the Top" Hawk ... and (of course) Detective Ray Tango.

"Dirty" Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry, 1971; Magnum Force, 1973; The Enforcer, 1976; Sudden Impact, 1983; The Dead Pool, 1986) -- Pretty damn unlikely, but I'd love to see Dirty Harry polish off the pistol just one last time. Hell, send him after the terrorists! (Another, more realistic wish: Clint Eastwood will deliver at least one more western in the vein of The Outlaw Josey Wales, Pale Rider, or Unforgiven.) strong>Snake Plissken (Escape from New York, 1981; Escape from L.A., 1996) -- I've lost track of how many times I've TRIED to enjoy Escape from L.A., but it just won't take. I know there's a remake on the way, but it'd still be pretty cool to see Kurt Russell don the eye-patch once more. Lord knows John Carpenter needs to bang out a good flick soon.

Axel Foley (Beverly Hills Cop, 1984; Beverly Hills Cop 2, 1987; Beverly Hills Cop 3, 1994) -- Talk of a BHC4 has been mumbled here and there for the past few years, but I'll believe it when I see it. If my only options are the Eddie Murphy of Norbit or the Eddie Murphy from Beverly Hills Cop, well gee ... that's not much of a decision at all.

Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon, 1987; Lethal Weapon 2, 1989; Lethal Weapon 3, 1992; Lethal Weapon 4, 1998) -- How great would it be if this series, after beginning rather seriously and then devolving into lunacy, went full circle and delivered a Martin Riggs who (once again) contemplated suicide? I mean ... isn't that the gimmick that made the first movie so good?

"Mad" Max Rockatansky (Mad Max, 1979; The Road Warrior, 1981; Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, 1985) -- Yeah, I guess Mel Gibson won't be making any more action sequels any time soon. But another Max movie would make the fans pretty happy. It almost happened, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

John Matrix (Commando, 1985) -- What action fan wouldn't like to see what this big lug is up to these days? You could be get Alyssa Milano to reprise her role as the daughter -- only this time she's a world-famous exotic dancer who needs rescuing when she's abducted an all-lesbian commando unit. Ooh, that'd be cool. Other options for Arnie: Mark "Raw Deal" Kaminsky, Ben "The Running Man" Richards, Ivan "Red Heat" Danko ... and (of course) Dutch from Predator. (Seriously: Arnold in a true Predator sequel would rock.)

Note: I chose mainly the obvious ones because I figured some readers might want to throw a few favorites in. So which '80s action heroes do you want to see again?
categories Cinematical