Every once in awhile, a revelation about a famous figure mucks up the facts of that person's biopic. Usually the truth comes out just before or after the film hits theaters, like with A Beautiful Mind. Other times, as in the case of The English Patient, it takes 14 years for the Daily Mail to report (via Movieline) that the male lead in a heterosexual love story was in fact gay. In Hollywood time, that may be just long enough for a remake of the Best Picture winner, directed by the late Anthony Minghella and starring Ralph Fiennes as the real-life Hungarian aristocrat and pilot Laszlo Almasy.

Despite the favor for completely redoing movies, though, perhaps there's another way to go. Whichever company buys Miramax (the latest deadline for bids is today) could salvage most of the original version of The English Patient while reworking it the way George Lucas updated the original Star Wars trilogy. This way, a special edition re-release can capitalize on the new popularity of Naveen Andrews (Sayid on Lost) while also employing computer technology to replace Kristin Scott Thomas with a young male actor (Daniel Bruhl?), specifically in the part of a Nazi soldier named Hans Entholt.
Unfortunately, a re-released film, even one as altered as this would be, can't qualify for Oscars a second time around. Given the new plot changes, which make the flashback story more like a cross between Brokeback Mountainand The Reader (there's even a similar tub scene!), the English Patient redux would be a lock for Best Picture, again. Of course, The English Patient is based on a novel anyway, from author Michael Ondaatje, and little of the plot is based on truth. So there's no real need for the film adaptation to be fixed for factual accuracy. In spite of this, I would love to see it done just for the sake of doing it.
categories Cinematical