Sorry Twi-hards, but there's going to be a bit of a delay before you see The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn on the big screen. Summit Entertainment has just announced that the final chapter won't hit screens until November 18, 2011. While it's a long wait for fans, it isn't a terrible surprise. The film isn't slated to hit production until later this year, and as much as the studio wants to go arty with the final installment, there is a lot of CGI to consider. And once again, Summit has said nary a word about whether the film will be told in one installment or two, although early reports swore it would be two. [Beware! Spoilers follow!]

It's not a crazy thought -- the book is ridiculously fat and basically merges two stories into one, or if you go by the "books" in the novel, three -- Book One: Bella, Book Two: Jacob, Book Three: Bella. Hundreds of pages, three "books," and rabid fans? A split is a no-brainer taking those factors into account. But what about what actually happens in those sections, and what's actually good for cinema?
Book One: Bella
It's time for the long-anticipated wedding to Edward, and -- oo lala! -- her first sex. Before the big day, she worries about the missing Jacob, suffers through some wedding planning, and recounts the story of the Denali clan. She gets married to Edward, infuriating the newly-returned Jacob with the news that she plans to get laid, and heads off on her honeymoon. They have sex, she's bruised, Edward is horrified. He distracts her with island activities for weeks until she finally convinces him for more honeymoon shenanigans. But then -- egads -- she's preggers and the fun in the sun stops.

Book Two: Jacob
Once Bella grabs Rosalie's help, we're in Jacob's mind, which doesn't account to much easy cinematic action. First he thinks that "sick" Bella means "vampire" Bella, and wants to attack, but the tides quickly turn. He sees her grotesquely pregnant after only a few weeks, and must leave the wolf pack to save his beloved from his wolfy bros who want to destroy her and the baby. He runs around as a wolf a lot with Seth and Leah, spending a lot of time in his head, and the rest of the time watching Bella get weaker and weaker. Until BLAM! Bella's dying, the baby has to come out, and Edward chews Renesmee out of Bella's belly before desperately biting her all over her body to try to turn his beloved before she dies.

Book Three: Bella
Things get tricky now. A little girl grows weeks or months in days, and Jacob is imprinted/in love with her. (Nothing like moving from mama to baby!) Bella is a vampire who feeds on huge wild animals and has lots of sex with Edward. When she's not, she's chilling with Renesmee and having fun for the first time in the series. ... Until a bloody moment of familial feeding with Jacob, Renesmee, and Bella leads to wrong assumptions and an impending, deadly battle with the Volturi. Bella learns to fight, lots of creepy vamps show up, the wolves multiply, and the Volturi arrive. There's some arguing and speech-making before the Cullens prove their new foes wrong and everyone goes off happily ever after ... which means that it ends with more sex.

How, realistically and cinematically, can this be two films? Would fans really love two hours of simply one back story, a wedding, and sex they can't see, before watching a CGI wolf run around and Bella look sickly? Then, wait however many months until a new movie where Bella frolicks as a vamp, learns some fighting moves, meets more bloodsuckers, and saves the entire lot of them with her Jedi mind tricks?

Realistically, it can be one film easily. A Denali back story of no more than ten minutes, a half hour for planning and wedding, a honeymoon adventure montage with hints at sex, twenty minutes of Jacob as a wolf and watching Bella, a few minutes of the horror of giving birth, and then the rest filled with the final vampiric shenanigans.

Agree? Disagree? Weigh in below.
categories Movies, Cinematical