I might not be an expert when it comes to superheroes, but now that they have invaded the box-office I have been getting an education. Now even though I'm not a superhero expert, I do consider myself one when it comes to handsome men. I've been noticing that our Big-Screen Heroes are getting awfully....well for lack of a better word, hot, and that has certainly caught this red-blooded gal's attention. Iron Man 2 opens this week, and in the latest installment, Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) has two pretty ladies fighting for his attention in the form of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow and Gwyneth Paltrow as Stark's long-time assistant and true love, Pepper Potts. So while most of the focus of Iron Man 2 is (rightfully) on the action and not Stark's romantic life, it did get me thinking about the fact that as dashing and sexy as these guys may be, dating them probably wouldn't be as much fun as you would think.
In the grand tradition of superheroes both on the page and on the screen, there has always been a little romance (and plenty of Mary Sues). Sure, most of the time our superhero's better half isn't much more than a plot point for a rescue mission, but I like to imagine how a regular gal could navigate these romantic waters, and that's why today's Cinematical Seven is all about the pros and cons of dating superheroes.
After the jump; dating advice for the hero set... strong>
1. Tony Stark: Iron Man
Pro: Integrated persona and he's handy around the house.
Con: Don't be surprised if he cheats on you.
Granted, most of Mr. Stark's date-worthiness can be traced back to the lovable Robert Downey Jr. in the role. But even if you look past Mr. Downey's considerable charm, Stark is also one of the few heroes on the list who has come close to reconciling his real life with his life in the suit, which makes for a much less angst ridden relationship -- I just wouldn't expect a commitment from him.
2. Bruce Wayne: Batman
Pro: Rich, tortured and at least you won't have to deal with in-laws.
Con: Always works nights.
If you have a thing for "tall and glowery'' Bruce Wayne is your man. Again, we've got another billionaire with a penchant for justice, but compared to Stark, Wayne is definitely the more high maintenance date night -- not to mention he just doesn't seem like quite as much fun.
3. Clark Kent: Superman
Pro: Never pay for airfare and they probably don't call him the Man of Steel for nothing.
Con: He's a bit of a goody-goody and you know he's not looking for anything serious when he calls his place the Fortress of Solitude.
On paper, Clark Kent (aka Superman) seems like a pretty good boyfriend: he's loyal, wholesome, honest, and you'd have to be blind not to notice that he fills out those leotards like nobodies business. But for all of that, girls still love a bad boy, and you can't help but wonder if that 'Gosh Golly Gee' routine would get old quick.
4. Bruce Banner: The Incredible Hulk
Pro: Heavy lifting and you'd always have someone who could open a jar.
Con: Anger issues and he'd probably wreck your place.
If you like your men complicated (and Mr. Wayne is otherwise engaged) then Dr. Bruce Banner would probably be your next best bet. Although it might get a little annoying that every time you had a fight he would remind you "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry".
5. Donald Blake: Thor
Pro: It isn't often that you get a deity to buy you dinner.
Con: His taste in clothes.
If you have a thing for powerful men, then Thor isn't just a savior of humanity, this guy is a God. In Kenneth Branagh's upcoming take on the Marvel good-guy, Thor is a reckless adventurer who learns how to be a hero when he's cast down to earth, and as we all know, every gal likes a little spice to their Knights in 'rubber' armor. So it looks like our big-screen Thor is a solid contender for the 'bad-ass with a heart of gold' title -- which is catnip for the ladies.
6. Peter Parker: Spider Man
Pro: Relatively upbeat and he's the sensitive type.
Con: That webbing would get all over the place.
Call me shallow if you want to, but I get the feeling that Peter Parker would be a pretty crappy boyfriend in comparison with some of our other heroes. He's always broke, constantly disappearing in the middle of conversations and if Spider Man 3 taught us anything, it's that 'emo hipster' is not a good look for him.
7. James Howlett: Wolverine
Pro: uhhhh...did you look at the photo?
Con: He'd probably try and use that amnesia excuse every time he forgot your anniversary.
Mr. Howlett (brought to hunky life by Hugh Jackman) is the dream guy for every gal who likes em' manly...and a little furry. But, there is a downside to this burly dreamboat and that's the mortality rate of his lady loves (both in the comics and the movies); and in his case, the phrase 'to die for' would take on a whole new meaning.