It's time for the winners of the MTV Movie Awards -- the cinematic celebration where celebs and hangers on eagerly wait to see who wins the few categories that contain no folks from The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Intermingled in between Stunt Kidz, Tom Cruise's Les Grossman out-kicking J-Lo, obligatory lesbian kisses, and old fogies attempting to dance along to Katy Perry, the sparkly vamps continued their reign.
New Moon scored itself Best Movie, Best Female Performance, Best Kiss, Robert Pattinson beat out the wolf for Best Male Performance and Global Superstar, and Anna Kendrick won outside the vampverse for her Breakout Role in Up in the Air. For the stragglers ... Zach Galifianakis grabbed Best Comedic Performance for The Hangover, and Tom Felton snuck in and nabbed the Best Villain popcorn bucket from the thought-to-be-unbeatable Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds). (Kids these days don't appreciate their elders like they did in the '90s.) However, Sandra Bullock, who first won Best Female back in 1995, got the old-farted "Generation Award." And finally, for all of MTV's unique awards, though no one saw Jennifer's Body, Amanda Seyfried scored the "Best Scared as Shit Performance," Beyonce and Ali Larter grabbed Best Fight for Obsessed, Ken Jeong had the "WTF Moment," and Biggest Badass Star went to Rain.
Might I suggest, MTV, that next year you don't even bother trying to build the suspense and just give the Twilight folks all the awards right off the bat and erase an hour from the festivities. That being said, it was amusing to see their bleeper censors miss four utterances of the F-word by Papa Cullen, Peter Facinelli. Play with f-ing fire and you get burned.