Some would say that there are no winners at Comic-Con (only 150,000 losers), but those people don't have snippy articles to write about the winners of Comic-con. Also, those people probably weren't there when Ryan Reynolds recited the Green Lantern oath to an absolutely flabbergasted little boy and obviously won Comic-Con. So without further ado - and after exhausting hours of sifting through ballots with the guys from Price Waterhouse Coopers - I present to you the 2010 San Diego Comic-Con Awards!
Best Way to Start Comic-con:
Winner: Waking all 5 of the people packed into your hotel room at 7:30 on Thursday morning with Edith Piaf's "Non, je ne Negrette Rien."
Runner-up: A hypodermic needle of amphetamines directly to the heart.
Best Reason to Wear 3-D Glasses:
Winner: Drive Angry 3-D. Because two dimensions are simply not enough to contain Nicolas Cage. Or his anger.
Runner-up: They're the last line of defense between you and a pen to the eye.
Best Reason to Remove 3-D Glasses Despite the Fact that they're the Last Line of Defense Between You and a Pen to the Eye:
Winner: Thor. Kenneth Branagh knows how to shoot for depth, just not this kind of depth. The Thor footage was lifeless, silly, and without an iota of the scale required to balance the character's godly origins. Thanks to the woefully mishandled 3-D, it was also dim and vaguely disorienting. How could a film that features Anthony Hopkins as Odin and Natalie Portman as the prettiest thing in the universe seem so... uninteresting?
Runner-up: The Alpha and Omega trailer. Finally, a kids movie about a wolf desperately trying to have sex with another wolf.
Best Proof that No Lessons Were Learned From I Am Legend:
Winner: Priest, and its CG vampires.
Runner-up: The last Paul Bettany movie.