What's fresh and new in the world of two-and-a-half-minute movie advertisements? Nothing, probably! But you never know! So let's take a gander at the trailers that have been weighing heavily on our minds this week and give out some awards -- hey, everyone is a winner.
Best Use of Ninjas: 'The Warrior's Way' (in theaters Dec. 3) -- in which, according to the trailer, a noble warrior refuses to kill a baby and is exiled to the Old West, where he meets up with Geoffrey Rush and many, many ninjas. This trailer also serves as a reminder that someone probably isn't much of an "international superstar" if you have to tell us that he's an "international superstar."
Most Effective Use of Counting: 'I Am Number Four' (in theaters Feb. 18). See, there's this dude narrating what happened, and he says, "There were nine of us who escaped," and then he says what happened to Number One, Number Two and Number Three. And you just know that Number Four is going to be next, and sure enough, he is, and it turns out that the guy talking is Number Four. It's perfect. If he'd been, say, Number Seven, then we'd have gotten bored by the time he rattled off the first six. But four! That's right in the sweet spot. The nine in question are apparently teenage aliens who go to high school, and we're guessing Number Four falls in love with a moody local girl who's friends with an Indian werewolf.