'It's Kind of a Funny Story,' adapted from the novel by Ned Vizzini, shows us a turning point in the life of 16-year-old Craig (Keir Gilchrist). Overwhelmed by academic pressures and a major crush on his best friend's girlfriend, Nia (Zoe Kravitz), Craig gets himself admitted to a psychiatric hospital. He becomes popular with the other patients, including his roommate, Muqtada (Bernard White), a troubled young father named Bobby (Zach Galifianakis) and an attractive girl named Noelle (Emma Roberts). During his five days of treatment, Craig and his new friends help each other begin to change their lives for the better
Here are some of the best lines from 'It's Kind of a Funny Story:'p class="MsoNormal">[Craig dreaming that he is about to jump off a bridge. His parents and little sister call him.]
Lynn (Lauren Graham): "What were you planning to do about your bike, hon?"
Craig: "I don't care about my bike. I'm killing myself."
George (Jim Gaffigan): "Well, we spent a lot of money on the bike, sport. We only ask that you take care of it."
Alissa (Dana De Vestern): "Think of me, Craig. I might want that bike when I grow up."
Craig: "I'm sorry. I just didn't think it was..."
Lynn: "That's right: you didn't even think about us when you were deciding to do this, did you, honey?"
George: "Pretty selfish, I'd say. Have you thought about how this might affect your sister?"
Craig: "I, um... I wanna kill myself."
[Nurse Harper hands him a clipboard with a form on it.]
Nurse Harper (Karen Chilton): "Fill this out."
Bobby: "You got a cigarette?"
Craig: "Ah... no, sorry."
Bobby: "What's wrong with you?"
Craig: "I just don't smoke."
Bobby: "No-I mean, why are you in the E.R. at five o'clock on a Sunday morning?"
[narrating over a montage]
Craig: "... Like, my dad always asks the wrong questions."
George [at the dinner table]: "So, Craig, how's the 'Intro to Wall Street' class?"
[Craig vomits across the table.]
Craig [continues narration]: "So maybe this is a slight exaggeration, but I do have a problem with stress-vomiting. And my friends sometimes look at me like I'm from another planet. And I'm obsessed with this girl... who happens to be going out with my best friend. So...is there any one thing that made me want to jump off a bridge?"
Craig [talking to doctor]: "Um, no. Nothing unusual."
Bobby: "Do you have any other puke stories that you'd like to share with me while we're getting to know each other?"
Bobby: "This is the shower. Doesn't have a lock, so when you go in, put it on 'In Use.' Get it?"
Craig: "I got it."
Bobby: "'Kay-you got it, but nobody else does, so they'll walk in on you while you're scrubbin' your balls, and you don't want that."
Bobby: "What's the pot up to now?"
Johnny (Adrian Martinez): "Eleven."
Bobby: "Eleven? Yesterday it was twelve."
Johnny: "Humble ate a buck."
Bobby: "Humble ate a buck."
Johnny: "Professor bet him a dollar he wouldn't eat it. He won."
Bobby [describing his sweater]: "It smells like a hobo's Band-Aid."
[Craig talking to the psychiatrist about a prestigious summer-school program to which Craig is expected to apply.]
Dr. Eden Minerva (Viola Davis): "What would happen if you didn't get in?"
Craig [narrating over a montage of his imagined future]: "Then I wouldn't be able to put it on my college application, which means I wouldn't get into a good college. If I didn't get into a good college, I wouldn't have a good job. Which means I wouldn't be able to afford a good lifestyle. So I wouldn't be able to find a girlfriend, which means I'd probably get depressed, and I'd end up like Muqtada in a place like this for the rest of my life. So... what would happen if I didn't get in?"
Craig [talking to the doctor]: "I don't know. It's hard to explain."
Nia: "Well, are there any cute girls in there?"
Craig: "Not really. Like, a mental hospital probably isn't the best spot to hook up."
Alissa: "Have you made any friends yet?"
Craig: "Um, yeah, I guess."
Alissa: "Are you friends with the tranny?"
[They look over at a young transsexual resident.]
Lynn: "Oh, the tranny."
Craig: "Um, not really."
[Craig helping Bobby prepare for an interview to get into a group home.]
Craig: "Like, what is it that you could bring to the home? Something special that only you could offer."
[Bobby remains silent.]
Craig: "It could be anything. Um, maybe you have a great attitude."
Craig: "Girls, grades, parents, two wars, impending environmental catastrophe, a messed-up economy. All these things seemed to come out of nowhere. Like, on the same day."
Dr. Eden Minerva: "So, let's talk about your parents."
Craig: "You think I can change my parents?"
Dr. Eden Minerva: "No, but I'm a psychiatrist, so I have to ask you about them at some point."
[Craig doesn't say anything.]
Bobby: "That's the part where you go, 'Hey, Bobby, your life's not that bad.'"
Bobby: "You're cool. You're smart. You're talented. You have a family that loves you. You know what I would do just to be you for just a day? I would, I would do so much. I would, I don't know, I'd just... I'd just live. Like it meant something."