Prepare to derail your day with 'Picture Show' fantasies!

Exactly one week ago, we learned that Fox 2000 was courting Ryan Murphy to tackle a remake of Richard O'Brien and Jim Sharman's 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show.' It's a natural choice. The man is wrapped up in weekly mini musical remakes with 'Glee' and has just finished an homage to the cult classic, airing tonight. It's the perfect dry run for a feature remake.

As the episode creeps closer to its airtime, a full performance of the "Time Warp" has been released online, not only making us wonder how the folks at McKinley got all that money for the set, but whether this is what Murphy's 'Rocky Horror' spin would look like.

Got to give it to the folks over at 'Glee' -- the cult treatment rocks. (And surpasses the drag-off on Drew Carey.) Kurt is made for Riff Raff, Artie is the reincarnation of Dr. Everett V. Scott, Finn has the excited sexual dorkiness of Brad Majors ... and if only Santana was Frank-N-Furter and Brittany got more time as Columbia, it'd be Gleek-perfect! (And if there are other fans of "Touch-a Touch-a..." out there -- Emma does it!)

But alas -- an homage is not a feature remake. We live in a world where 'Hairspray' and John Waters became even more mainstream (and chilled our souls), so it was only a matter of time before studios tried to cash in on the undying love of 'Rocky Horror.' If there was ever a film with a still-thriving fanbase keeping the story alive -- a film with modern twists that would work well with today's social landscape -- it's this flick.

The film lives on through its recreations and re-tellings -- the people across the world who regularly re-enact the film, who quote the lines and stand in front of the screen, mimicking the action. Ironically, though it's so beloved that many would recoil at the thought of a remake, its very fame resides in reproduction.

The only way to make a remake as magical and anywhere near as loved as the remake -- it has to tap into that fanatic love and adoration, rather than merely trying to replicate it with the audience. The 'Glee' clip works because they're students reveling in an edgy, kick-ass musical. So, if Murphy does dare to tackle this, I say start with the usual stage/screen performance before some seasonsed re-enactors are sucked in a time warp to a scary Transylvania with greater thrills, greater transsexuals and maybe Tim Curry in drag once again.

Because, let's face it: Joseph Gordon-Levitt might make a decent Frank-N-Furter, and there's always fresh faces to toss into the roles of Brad and Janet, but there's no modern-day Meat Loaf, and no way any new adaptation will truly thrive without some big twists in the tale.

And for you purists out there, here's the original tune:

categories Movies, Cinematical