While America recovers from its gluttonous day of giving thanks and dozing off in front of football games, we labor intensively to shine a spotlight on the most outstanding achievements in movie advertising. Forthwith, the weekly trailer awards! (Note: Weekly trailer awards are also tasty as reheated leftovers.)
Most Flagrant Product Placement: 'The Lincoln Lawyer' (in theaters March 18). Matthew McConaughey's title character isn't the "Lincoln lawyer" because he's a gangly bearded giant with an unsightly mole and a fondness for emancipation. He's called that because he's a defense attorney who operates out of his car, which is a Lincoln. The trailer makes both the lawyer and the car appear snazzy and sleek, thus helping to distract the viewer from the fact that under no circumstances would you ever hire a lawyer who operated out of a car.
Best Use of Green: 'Your Highness' (in theaters April 8). Kids, I'm not saying marijuana is cool. I'm just saying that this movie looks cool, and that marijuana was apparently a significant factor in its production.
Best Use of Green (Runner-Up): 'The Green Lantern' (in theaters June 17). In times of darkness and turmoil, a bright light can serve as a beacon of hope. If a bright light is not available, a murky green one will suffice. And if you don't have electricity or a flashlight, then sure, a lantern will do. A green lantern is definitely better than nothing! That is the message here.
Best Example of Eliminating Unnecessary Information: 'Battle: Los Angeles' (in theaters March 11). The title of this aliens-attack sci-fi thriller does not appear in the trailer. Nor do the names of its cast members. What does appear? Ample footage of cities being wiped out, people running in terror, and soldiers shooting at unkillable alien forces. All of it is accompanied by a song that appears to have been sung by a robot suffering from clinical depression. Oh, and the date, 03-11-11. That's all you need to know: it's about an alien attack, and it opens March 11. Everything else is irrelevant.
Most Unnecessary Detail: "From the director of 'Twilight,'" in the trailer for 'Red Riding Hood' (in theaters March 11). Really? The movie about a teenage girl who has a forbidden romance in the woods with a deadly supernatural creature who looks exactly like Edward Cullen is from the director of 'Twilight'?? You don't say!