I'm cynical and sarcastic enough to get behind a tongue-in-cheek "worst of the year" awards presentation, but there's never much amusement to be found in the annual Razzie nominations. Their picks seem to be either A) high-profile "fish in a barrel" nominees, or B) a bunch of movies / movie stars that are bad, sure, but are mainly popular enough to generate some fan-based outrage -- and therefore more attention for the Razzies as a whole.

For example, as goofy as the 'Twilight' films are, they're nowhere near as wretched as, say, 'Jonah Hex,' but "Twilight Razzie" will get 10 times the traffic as "Jonah Hex Razzie." Then they nominate the same flicks 11 times. And yet here we are, sharing their goofy nominations with you anyway. (My own commentary, as a massive expert on terrible films, will follow in italics)

Worst Picture

(Fair enough; those are five pretty rotten flicks.)

Worst Actor
  • Jack Black, 'Gulliver's Travels'
  • Gerard Butler, 'The Bounty Hunter'
  • Ashton Kutcher, 'Killers' and 'Valentine's Day'
  • Taylor Lautner, 'Twilight Saga: Eclipse' and 'Valentine's Day'
  • Robert Pattinson, 'Remember Me' and 'Twilight Saga: Eclipse'

(That the Razzies happily nominate one actor for multiple roles tells you all you need to know about their legitimacy.)
Worst Actress
  • Jennifer Aniston, 'The Bounty Hunter' and 'The Switch'
  • Miley Cyrus, 'The Last Song'
  • The Four Gal Pals, 'Sex and the City 2'
  • Megan Fox, 'Jonah Hex'
  • Kristen Stewart, 'Twilight Saga: Eclipse'

(Gee, not trolling for any attention there, are you Razzie-lords? Why didn't you throw 'The Runaways' in there for Ms. Stewart? Oh, right, you don't bother with indies.)

Worst Supporting Actor
  • Billy Ray Cyrus, 'The Last Song' (correction) 'The Spy Next Door'
  • George Lopez, 'Marmaduke,' 'The Spy Next Door' and 'Valentine's Day'
  • Dev Patel, 'The Last Airbender'
  • Jackson Rathbone, 'The Last Airbender' and 'Twilight Saga: Eclipse'
  • Rob Schneider, 'Grown Ups'

(They ran out of singers and 'Twilight' actors so they threw Rob Schneider a bone.)

Worst Supporting Actress
  • Jessica Alba, 'The Killer Inside Me,' 'Little Fockers,' 'Machete' and 'Valentine's Day'
  • Cher, 'Burlesque'
  • Liza Minnelli, 'Sex and the City 2'
  • Nicola Peltz, 'The Last Airbender'
  • Barbra Streisand, 'Little Fockers'

(1. Wow, the Razzies really hate singers! 2. Ms. Alba was quite good in two of those films. 3. Lay off the freakin' 'Airbender' kids already. Sheesh.)

"Worst Eye-Gouging Mis-Use of 3-D"
  • 'Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore'
  • 'Clash of the Titans'
  • 'The Last Airbender'
  • 'Nutcracker 3-D'
  • 'Saw 3-D'

(Fascinating category. Really.)

Worst Screen Couple / Ensemble
  • Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler, 'The Bounty Hunter'
  • Josh Brolin's Face & Megan Fox's Accent, 'Jonah Hex'
  • The Entire Cast, 'The Last Airbender'
  • The Entire Cast, 'Sex and the City 2'
  • The Entire Cast, 'Twilight Saga: Eclipse'

(They had to combine these categories because lord knows there's a shortage of couples and ensembles in films these days. Also, this batch is nothing but a retread of the acting categories. How lazy.)

Worst Director
  • 'The Expendables,' Sylvester Stallone
  • 'The Last Airbender,' M. Night Shyamalan
  • 'Sex and the City 2,' Michael Patrick King
  • 'Twilight Saga: Eclipse,' David Slade
  • 'Vampires Suck,' Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer

(Same nominees as "Worst Picture," only they gave Andy Tennant ['The Bounty Hunter'] a break and threw Sly in there. Arbitrarily.)

Worst Screenplay
  • 'The Last Airbender,' M. Night Shyamalan
  • 'Little Fockers,' Michael Hamburg & Larry Stuckey
  • 'Sex and the City 2,' Michael Patrick King
  • 'Twilight Saga: Eclipse,' Melissa Rosenberg
  • 'Vampires Suck,' Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer

(Freaking yaaaaawn. Hey, Razzie-lords, try seeing more than 15 movies a year.)

Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel
  • 'Clash of the Titans'
  • 'The Last Airbender'
  • 'Sex and the City 2'
  • 'Twilight Saga: Eclipse'
  • 'Vampires Suck'

(Wow, I'm really glad this category exists. I'm a huge fan of pointless redundancy.)

For more on this silliness, visit the Razzies' official site. If you must.
categories Movies, Awards, Cinematical