In 'Drive Angry 3D,' Nicolas Cage plays Milton, a father so guilt-ridden over his daughter's cult-related death that he finagles his way out of hell to save his granddaughter from a grisly Satanic sacrifice. Given this set-up, it's strange that Cage flies his freak flag at half-mast for this task; his demeanor here recalls older action favorites like 'Con Air' more than the cracked-out 'Bad Lieutenant' or the unintentionally hilarious 'Wicker Man.' Maybe that's because there's just so much nuttiness to go around already in 'Drive Angry 3D.' Even with Cage's voltage on low, writer Todd Farmer and writer/director Patrick Lussier serve up an endless parade of action-packed weirdness, from a mid-coitus gunfights to balletic, fiery car crashes.
At the beginning of our tale, Milton -- John Milton, obviously -- meets a long-legged Southern girl named Piper (Amber Heard) who curses like a sailor and throws punches like a windmill. She wants out of town, and he wants a ride, so together they burn rubber across state lines trying to find the cult leader and his cronies before it's prime baby-sacrificing time. In turn, they're being pursued by The Accountant, a dapper fellow played by the essential William Fichtner; it's his job to keep tabs on the residents of Hell and, in this case, bring 'em home when one accidentally gets loose.