Heretic, thy name is Reese Witherspoon!

It seemed like everything was going so well -- legions of Robert Pattinson fans were anxiously awaiting the release of next week's romantic drama 'Water for Elephants' opposite Oscar-winner Reese Witherspoon. With bated breath, scores of R-Pattz admirers manically braced themselves, waiting to see their leading man take another step toward film immortality, hypnotizing the golden-haired ingenue with scene after scene of smoldering, white-hot passion.

But then Witherspoon had to go and ruin it all by sullying -- rather, outright slandering Robert's ability to woo any woman lucky enough to gaze into his deep, dreamy eyes. And what horrible things did she dare to speak from her mouth?