April 20 is a somewhat dubious national holiday for a certain glaucoma-affected part of the nation. If you have no idea what we're talking about, then just move right along, there's nothing to see here.
But for those who may be interested in celebrating today, Moviefone has put together a list of movie-watching recommendations that we think you'll enjoy.
Psst, hey you -- look, we all know that you can watch anything today and it will be amazing. Frankly, we're amazed that you are still reading this far, and not totally distracted by everything else on the Internet. So if you need to, bookmark this page and keep it on file, that's fine. These films were thoroughly researched and scientifically determined to be the best movies to watch high.
And for posterity's sake, this is your one warning: Most of these videos are NSFW.
20. 'Pink Floyd's The Wall'(1982)
Hey man, don't you think Warner Bros. should just give in and release an official mashup of 'Dark Side of the Moon' and 'Wizard of Oz' already? Really, what harm could it do?
19. 'Alice in Wonderland' (1951)
Hey man, do you know how much money the Tim Burton version of 'Alice' made? Over a billion dollars. That's insane. In the United States alone, it made almost $335 million. Think of all the people that made the conscious decision to look at their wallets and say, "Yes, I want to give my money to that movie."
18. 'Sleeper' (1973)
Hey man, it's kind of crazy to think that if Woody Allen stopped making movies after 'Annie Hall,' he would have still been remembered for all his great comedies. But he kept going, and he made a ton of amazing non-funny movies too. Anyway, you have to be in a very specific mood to get through 'Interiors,' but we can watch 'Sleeper' any day of the year. Call it a gut feeling, but we think its his funniest movie.
17. 'Hell Comes to Frogtown'(1988)
Hey man, we did not make this movie up. In a post-apocalyptic future, mutant frog-people have kidnapped the few remaining fertile women as sex slaves, and the government sends "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (as tough-guy hero Sam Hell) into the amphibious enemy territory. Oh, and he also has a codpiece wired to detonate, stuck to his body. And after everything we just told you, we still haven't mentioned the most ridiculous part: the Dance of the Three Snakes. It must be seen to be believed.
16. 'Tapeheads' (1988)
Hey man, if you have to watch one movie about independent music video directors set amidst the downtown L.A. art punk scene of the late '80s, you should make it 'Tapeheads.' John Cusack and Tim Robbins seem to do whatever they want without any direction in their scenes, the movie is filled with deliberately apathetic slapstick, and the soundtrack features some of the weirdest, simplest, catchiest songs we've ever heard. These are all good things.
15. 'Heavy Metal'(1981)
Hey man, YES! This movie rules. Where else are you going find dragons and skeletons and aliens getting murdered and awesome barbarian women, all set to the sweet tunes of Sammy Hagar? It's like a movie producer passed by some sketchy dude's van and gave him a million dollars to turn it into a movie. Sometimes Hollywood is awesome.
14. 'Dirty Work'(1998)
Hey man, of all the movies Bob Saget has directed, this one is the funniest. Norm MacDonald gives maybe the most hilarious anti-acting performance ever. Why are we even trying to explain this movie? It's the best. Just watch it.
13. 'Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey'(1991)
Hey man, everyone remembers 'Excellent Adventure,' but when was the last time you watched 'Bogus Journey'? The first one was a clever little tale about two California burnouts and their grasp of history, but the sequel's exploration of life, death and the cosmos was probably too much for all those people expecting a second helping of the first movie. And if you want to have your mind really blown, the director behind all these lush scenes of metaphysical existence was the same guy who made 'Garfield.'
12. 'March of the Wooden Soldiers'(1934)
Hey man, this is one of the trippiest live-action depictions of fairy tales and nursery rhymes ever, and it's a Laurel and Hardy comedy. Whether you know it as 'Wooden Soldiers' or 'Babes in Toyland,' you've probably seen it played on local TV stations at Christmastime. Man, Christmas is so great.
11. 'Friday' (1995)
Hey man, you want to hear something totally effed? Whenever we hear the word "Friday" in regards to entertainment, we think of that Rebecca Black song now. Congratulations, pop culture, you beat your stupid zeitgeist into our heads. Isn't that awesome how you insisted upon being ironic, instead of taking that time to acknowledge something genuinely entertaining? It really is like that scene in 'Extras' when Ricky Gervais says the Victorian Freak Show never went away -- wait, you've never seen that? Watch it now.
Hey man, this movie is messed up. Do you think this is what really happens to our brains with all the television we're watching? I wouldn't be surprised, man.
9. 'Yellow Submarine'(1968)
Hey man, isn't it kind of crazy that the Beatles existed? Everyone in pop music for the last 50 years has just been doing their twist on (or just straight ripping off) one aspect of the Beatles. That's insane. And they were only popular for like 10 years. The last time before that, when we were witness to such a level of prolific musical genius was Mozart -- and that was 200 years ago. Are we going to have to wait another 200 until we get the next Beatles? That kind of sucks. But we bet it's going to sound awesome.
8. 'The Big Lebowski' (1998)
Hey man, we don't know if it's cliché or whatever to still like this movie, but who cares! Even if you've gotten annoyed at all the people who quote it incessantly, you can't deny that this is John Goodman's greatest performance in a career of great performances. We know it's not the pinnacle of filmmaking -- heck it's not even the pinnacle of the Coen brothers' filmography. But are you really in the mood to watch 'No Country for Old Men' today? (Actually, that doesn't sound that bad.)
7. 'Speed Racer'(2008)
Hey man, you know what? Anyone who didn't like this movie didn't get it. We know it's funny to hate on the Wachowskis because of the 'Matrix' sequels, but they are still awesome, interesting filmmakers. One review of this movie said watching it was like pouring "melted Starburst on your corneas." Does that sound amazing to anyone else? This is the next great, visually dazzling, under-appreciated sci-fi epic -- it's our 'Blade Runner.' And without sounding like parrots for consumerism, this movie is the best reason to own a Blu-ray player / hi-def TV.
6. 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'(1998)
Hey man, isn't it kind of funny that Hunter S. Thompson has become this sort-of charming figure in pop culture? So much so that you can now do an imitation of him in a cartoon and sell it to kids. And the guy was out of his mind on drugs. That's pretty hilarious, society.
5. 'The Shining' (1980)
Hey man, this movie still freaks us out in a profound way. We can't think of a better, more vivid depiction of losing our minds. It forever ruined getting snowed in, walking through old hotels and the concept of twins for us. Now why is it so fun to watch, again and again and again?
Hey man, we need to let go of the "Hanoi Jane" thing already. A lot of the nastiest things said about her were unfounded Internet rumors, and she has apologized for the actually-upsetting things she did. Besides, we think history has shown that Vietnam was a pretty messed-up situation, and she had to courage to speak out against it. If we're just going to equate political dissent with heresy, then this is not the "Land of the Free" after all. But to get back to our original point, Jane Fonda was so hot in this movie.
3. 'Dazed and Confused' (1993)
Hey man, this movie actually provides a pretty Zen way to get through life. You may be in debt, lonely, frustrated, stuck at a dead-end job, trapped in a go-nowhere town, disillusioned with politics or caught in some other situation where you never have a choice, but you should still do the best that you can while you're stuck in that place.
2. 'The Monkees' Head' (1968)
Hey man, the Monkees get a bad rap. They made great pop songs and are totally legitimate in our eyes. And yeah, maybe they kind of wrecked their careers making this dark, surreal satire about ... something. But 'Head' features some of the best music of the decade, a script co-written by Jack Nicholson and a really weird cameo by Frank Zappa. So, if it had to be the Monkees' swan song, what a way to go out.
1. 'The Apple'(1980)
Hey man, just trust us. Greatest viewing experience for the day, easily. We're not even going to bother explaining what makes this glam-rock opera about the theological pitfalls of the music industry (set in a "futuristic 1994") so amazing to watch. Instead, we'll take this time to make a political point about marijuana: Whether you think it's harmless or evil, a helpful medicinal aid or a criminal social blight, we can all agree that it is nowhere near as bad the cocaine used to produce this movie.
Moviefone doesn't condone the use of illegal substances, blah blah blah ... If you can't laugh along with this article, you really need to mellow out.