Funnyman Jim Carrey posted a video on his site today, professing his previously unknown love for Emma Stone.
"Emma, I just wanted to let you know that I think you're all the way beautiful. Not just pretty, but, you know, smart and kindhearted," he begins. "If I were a lot younger I would marry you." (For the record, Carrey is 49 and Stone is 22).
Carrey adds, "We could have chubby, little freckle-faced kids." He pauses for effect when imagining the sex they'd have and claims, "Every day, you'd thank God I was the appropriate age for you ... but I'm not."
He then points out his age and admits he's got wrinkles, some gray in his hair, "and it takes me a lot longer to pee than it used to." He ends by wishing her love and contentment, then closes with a silently mouthed, "I love you."