I was feeling really good about 'The Muppets.' In a world where our possible financial doom seems more and more like a reality every single day -- not to mention all of those pesky wars and natural disasters -- was it too much to ask to let me be happy about one thing? Apparently. Over the last few months, the marketing has constantly brought a smile to my face and, boy, does Jason Segel ever look like he's having the time of his life with this project. Every interview I read of his (including my own for Vanity Fair) the guy just oozes Muppets. So, what was there not to like? Enter: Frank Oz.
To Oz's credit, at least he's got the balls to go on the record with his own name about his displeasure with Jason Segel's version of 'The Muppets,' unlike some other Muppeteers. "I wasn't happy with the script. I don't think they respected the characters," he told the British site Metro.

What really stings about this situation is how much I admire Oz -- he brought Yoda to life, for Christ's sake! -- but this just sounds like Oz being a sourpuss. Oh, yeah, that's his own word" "But I don't want to go on about it like a sourpuss," he said. OK, then! At least he admits it! But these other unnamed sources go on to complain about unrealistic plot points, which include Kermit living in a mansion. Actually, that seems to be the main complaint: "Kermit would never live in a mansion, as he does in this movie." So, let me get this straight: The beef with Segel's 'The Muppets' is that plot point, which is so unrealistic that it "creates a false history that the characters were forced to act out for the sake of this movie," according to one of the sources. Right. So, Kermit would never, ever live in a mansion, but based on past films and television shows, Kermit would:

· Throw pies into the faces of other Muppets and humans.

· Take on the identity of Captain Abraham Smollett

· Become a Broadway star

· Become a news reporter who is also, inexplicably, identical twin brothers with a bear.

· Drive a Studebaker across the country.

· Become engaged to a pig.

· Become bitterly jealous of Peter Ustinov's talents.

· Become bitterly jealous of the Christopher Reeve's looks

· On more than one occasion, cancel Fozzie's comedy act -- the one thing Fozzie loves in this world.

· Visit the Planet Koozebane

· Argue with a Moose who talks like John Wayne.

· Force poor Fozzie to do all of the stagehand work because of a simple misunderstanding in which Fozzie sent all the stagehands into the country.

· Call Beauregard "an idiot" because of a simple misunderstanding involving some confusion over elbow grease versus axel grease.

· Fire singing duo Wayne and Wanda.

· Throw out Mark Hamill as host after not liking the way he sings.

· Trick poor Gene Kelly into performing, when all the dancing legend wanted to do was watch the show.

· Fire the love of his life, Miss Piggy

So, yeah, guess what: Kermit's history is laced with ridiculousness and prickliness -- but, right, he would never live in a mansion. Give me a break.

[Photo: Paramount]

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The Muppets
Based on 37 critics

The Muppets and their human fans stage a telethon to save Muppet Studios. Read More

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