On Monday night, Christopher Nolan was in New York City to present the prologue to a new Batman film that you're probably looking forward to called 'The Dark Knight Rises.' Safe assumptions! Also, it wasn't a lot of footage, but, hey: footage! So, yes, I dragged myself across town to watch what for all intents and purposes was five percent of a movie, just for you (OK, and me). Sadly, Nolan made but a few comments before he introduced the footage, but wasn't taking questions. So, based on a minuscule amount of footage and a very short introduction by its director, here are the nine things we learned while watching the prologue for 'The Dark Knight Rises.' strong>Bane is Scary
I'll admit, I was doing the thing where I quasi covered my eyes when Tom Hardy's Bane is first revealed. For background: To open the film, Bane does the trick where he surrenders but he doesn't really surrender -- and the authorities have no idea that he's actually Bane. They just think he's Bane's henchman. Well, once his identity is revealed on a plane and I got my first look at his mask on a super large IMAX screen, I started getting really anxious.

I Can't Understand a Word Bane is Saying
So you've got Tom Hardy doing some sort of Hispanic accent (I think) that's filtered through a mask that makes his voice sound electronic. Going back to that scene on the plane, for all I know Bane was telling the authorities, "Hey, I would really like to be friends. Why are you attacking me? Be my friend!" I mean, look, there were a few sentences here and there that I could made out, but for the most part: no clue. What was weird -- for this short clip at least - it did make Bane a bit more terrifying. Though, over the course of a two hour movie, I would like to know what Bane is trying to say.

The Prologue is an Amped up Version of the Prologue from 'The Dark Knight'
Where Joker's bank robbery in 'The Dark Knight' had an aspect of controlled chaos going on, the prologue for 'The Dark Knight Rises' is just chaos. I'm not at all saying that this is a good thing. Instead of a bank robbery, we're basically seeing a plane robbery. And, yes, some of the effects are really stellar, of course, but there's a lot going on.

We learn Nothing About Anne Hathaway's Catwoman
There's a montage of scenes to end the clip that do show Hathaway in costume once and out of costume once. In the scene in which she's out of costume, she's driving. So I will make an assumption that Selina Kyle has a valid driver's license.

Christopher Nolan Wears a Nice Scarf
Yes, it's chilly tonight in Gotham (zing!), so Nolan was quite the bundled up gentleman when he addressed those of us in attendance. He mentioned that he was there more to promote the technology that was used to film the IMAX sequences and how this technology has been around longer than he's been alive, though it's rarely used ... Zzzzzzz .... Zzzzz. Oh, sorry, I nodded off. Batman!

Harvey Dent is Dead (Probably)
Before we get to Bane, the footage opens with a very brief scene of Gary Oldman giving the eulogy at Harvey Dent's funeral. Call me crazy, but if I had a son, and that son was oh so close to being shot in the head by someone, I'm probably not giving my son's almost murderer's eulogy - no matter how shitty his face looks and the fact his that his girlfriend was murdered. Call me crazy, but, no.

Batman and Bane Have a Fistfight
Also in the end of footage montage, we do see Bane and Batman fight. Then again, we've seen these two fight in about 1000 leaked paparazzi photos from the set, so this isn't too surprising.

There's a Crazy Scientist
OK, maybe he's not crazy. But this whole business aboard this plane seems to be about abducting a scientist that Bane needs for an evil plan. (At least, I think it is. Bane is a very hard man to understand.)

I Just Wrote 700 Words About Five Percent of a Movie
You're welcome, no one.

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categories Movies