I know what you're all thinking. Oh, great: more totally random predictions that will never actually happen. What a waste of time! Well, you're right and you're wrong. I'm not one to gloat, but one of my totally random predictions from 2011 came to be (for your reference, check #2). Yes, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively found love in 2011. So am I an oracle? Probably not. After all, BiebGa still hasn't happened. But does this justify the roll-out of a new set of predictions for 2012? Oh, yes.
2011 wasn't a great year for celebrity couples that everybody said wouldn't last. Ashton and Demi finally collapsed – though they stuck it out a lot longer than all the haters predicted! And, of course, Russell Brand just filed for divorce from his darling Katy. Shocking, right? I didn't realize a union sealed within steps of a tiger sanctuary could ever fail, with the proximity to tiger's blood and all.
Speaking of tiger's blood, one thing I definitely didn't see coming: 'Two and a Half Men' killing off Charlie Sheen. That's a pretty finite move. Bold. Very bold. Perhaps one of the boldest moves ever executed by a network sitcom. But I digress. Let's get to the random predictions!
1. Ricky Gervais is permanently declared "persona non grata" in the US after really offending America's sweetheart George Clooney at the Golden Globes. Too far, Ricky. Too far.
2. After deciding that Bradley Cooper just wasn't a ridiculous enough choice to play Eric Draven in 'The Crow' reboot, producers cast their gaze over to Tom Cruise.
3. Regis Philbin takes up permanent residence on 'Letterman,' serving as Dave's new trusty sidekick who can't remember guests' names. Katherine Heigl is momentarily humbled when Rege introduces her as 'Cathy Hay...Ha...Hig...All right, I don't know! I just don't know!'
4. Kim Kardashian tries to curry public favor by making a humanitarian trip to Haiti. (Wait, she already did that? And she was photographed extensively during her 'volunteer' efforts? While staying in a luxury hotel?)
5. Beyoncé and Jay-Z's baby becomes the youngest person to ever top the charts, releasing a #1 single at the tender age of two weeks.
6. Kevin James drops 100 pounds, and people don't know what to think of him anymore. He turns to Jonah Hill for career advice and workout tips.
7. Prince Harry sparks royal ire when he starts dating Lady Gaga. His family suspects Gaga of using Harry as a means to score a legit "Lady" title.
8. Oprah decides she wants her old show back, and quietly pays off Anderson Cooper to relinquish his daytime timeslot so she doesn't have any competition. She leans on Jay Leno for advice throughout the maneuver.
9. Russell Brand rebounds from his divorce from Katy Perry with Kate Moss. I know, I know -- Kate Moss just got married! But so did Brand, really. So, yeah. Touché.
10. Eddie Murphy proves that he really will do anything for his buddy Brett Ratner by agreeing to co-star in 'Rush Hour 4.' Oh, the humanity.
11. Andrew Garfield is arrested after scaling the wall surrounding Jim Carrey's house. He clearly wanted to send a message to Ace Ventura: Nobody publicly declares his love for Spider-Man's woman except Spider-Man! (Spider-Man's woman being, of course, Emma Stone.)
12. Jennifer Aniston marries Justin Theroux and immediately becomes pregnant. Baby is born wearing a fedora.
What did we miss? Got any random predictions for 2012?
[Photo: Getty Images/AP]
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categories The Rundown