Best & Worst Moments in Oscars Hosts History

Dos and Donts for Oscar Hosts

Dos and Don'ts for Oscar Hosts

Hosting the Academy Awards may be the toughest gig in showbiz: For every Johnny Carson-style triumph, there's a David Letterman-like dud. How can this year's rookie emcee, Hugh Jackman, ensure they land on the Carson side of the fence? We've got some helpful advice, based on the best (and worst) moments in Oscar host history. Our first tip: Make sure that tux is returnable.

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DON'T Fear Rejection

When Jon Stewart mocked Scientology and snarked that Hollywood was "out of touch with mainstream America," home viewers roared, but the industry crowd responded with unamused silence. Replaced by Ellen DeGeneres in 2007, Stewart looked to be one-and-done -- until, like a sheepish lover, the Academy asked him back for '08. Aw, Jon! They like you, they really like you!

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DO Stick With What Works

Why mess with success? Billy Crystal's spirited song-and-dance routines, in which he inserted himself into nominated films, never got old in his eight appearances as host -- most memorably when he was wheeled onstage as Hannibal Lecter. And when Jack Palance started doing one-handed push-ups in 1992, Crystal turned it into one of Oscar's greatest running gags.

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DON'T Run a Bad Joke Into the Ground

We're not exactly sure what David Letterman was going for when he made his ill-advised "Oprah, Uma. Uma, Oprah" joke at the 1995 Oscars. (At least we think it was a joke.) But then he did it again ... and again. End result? Oprah boycotted his show until 2005, and Letterman became known, perhaps unfairly, as the worst host in Oscar history.

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DO Think on Your Feet

Great Oscar hosts know how to roll with the punches; but the king of quick thinking was 1974 co-host David Niven. When streaker Robert Opel ran by flashing a peace sign AND his privates, Niven quipped, "Just think, the only laugh that man will probably ever get is by stripping and showing his shortcomings." Now there's a man you want in a crisis (Niven, not Opel).

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DO Be Yourself

Ellen DeGeneres' stint as host in 2007 marked the era of a kinder, gentler Oscars: Her folksy shtick included handing Martin Scorsese a script to read and asking Clint Eastwood to pose for a MySpace picture. As it turned out, maybe the Academy secretly wants to be abused -- that feel-good era lasted all of one year. But don't worry, Ellen's still dancing on stage ... just not at the Kodak Theatre.

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DON'T Sing With Disney Characters

OK, so Rob Lowe didn't host the Oscars. But there are vital lessons to be learned from 1989's opening number, in which Lowe and an actress dressed as Snow White crooned a very special rendition of 'Proud Mary.' Lowe (fresh off a sex-tape scandal) was a laughingstock. Disney sued. Heck, we'd sue if we could, for assault on good taste.

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DO Make a Grand Entrance

Opinion is divided on whether Whoopi Goldberg, with her off-color jokes, was a good host or a bad one. But she did know how to enter a room. In 1999, she opened the show as Queen Elizabeth, declaring, "I am the African Queen. Some of you may know me as the Virgin Queen, but I can't imagine who." Ah, high style and low humor. The royals would be proud.

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DON'T Start Off on the Wrong Foot

In 1988, having already co-hosted with Goldie Hawn and Paul Hogan (that is not a typo; Crocodile Dundee once hosted the Oscars), Chevy Chase flew solo and set the tone with his opening line: "Good evening, Hollywood phonies." The celebs laughed politely, but Chase wasn't asked to head up the telecast again. It was either that, or the nose-picking.

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DO Emulate Johnny Carson

To many, the gold standard for Oscar hosts is five-time emcee Johnny Carson, master of the double-take, the witty ad-lib and the gentle barb ("I see a lot of new faces, especially on the old faces"), who subtly managed to flatter the Hollywood elite and skewer them at the same time. And the man always exuded class, even when he was sharing the stage with a pig.

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