- Buy Frankie Muniz's car. Or, use his license plates to stalk him. The choice is yours.
- Hey, everybody! Byron Allen might buy PAX-TV! [tumbleweeds, tumbleweeds]
- Is Lena Olin coming back to Alias?
- Somebody better give Tim Daly an Emmy, or else TV Squad is gonna be pissed.
- Who's our new fake president?
- MTV to launch internet network. Because we need more excuses to spend 24 hours a day in front of the computer.