The greatest thing about being Roger Ebert must be that, at this point, you can basically do whatever you want. You're the most visually recognizable film critic in the world, and you probably have the widest (if not neccesarily the most devoted or passionate or erudite) readership. So if you want to write 1000 words about the remorse you feel over having given The Longest Yard "a muted thumbs-up" on your television program days before digging into 25 "attempts at greateness" at Cannes and three weeks before having to file a written review - you just do.