Let me be perfectly clear: The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3-D is a bad, bad, movie. Terribly bad. Unrelentingly bad. It was so bad, in fact, that I spent a good deal of the movie thinking of all the synonyms for "bad" I could think of, just so I could list them for you in this review. I should get combat pay for having to sit through a film this bad.
Here are some words one might use to describe this film (and I use the term "film" only in the absolute loosest sense of the word, to mean "something recorded on a film-like substance", not to imply that there is anything remotely like "art" associated with Shark Boy and Lava Girl): Abyssmal. Defective. Flawed. Execrable. Valueless. Not to mention insultingly base and stupid, even to most of the kids in the audience with me today. The little guy in front of me kept whispering loudly to his mom, "Mommmmmy! Can we go home now? Is it over, Mommmmmmy?"