In Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park, the genetically engineered dinosaurs managed to breed, break out of captivity, terrorize scientists and eat lawyers before Sam Neill, et al were air lifted to safety. I didn't see the film's two sequels, but I can't imagine future visitors to history's most ethically dubious theme park fared much better.

But I'm sure nothing nearly that bad is going to happen at Restless Planet, the "real life Jurassic Park" currently in development in Dubai. The park is being planned by Jack Horner (a palentological consultant to Spielberg) and experts from the British Natural History Museum, whilst two Arab businessmen, brothers Ilyas and Mustafa Galadar, are picking up the whopping £100 million price tag. And no, there will be no amber mine spelunking for dino DNA -- all of the attractions will be strictly animatronic.

The great thing about this story is that the script from the movie provides all of the material we need to make fun of it. We can just go down the list repeating the sage words of Dr. Ian Malcolm, the black leather-clad chaos theorist played by Jeff Goldblum. Here's my favorite zinger: "They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should." What's yours?

categories Movies, Cinematical