Before I detail your new release options, I'd just like to say one thing: It's a sick, sad week for mainstream films. Do yourself a favor – go see something from a couple of weeks back. Or just stay home. The Essentials is on tomorrow night – let's just give Peter Bogdanovich some love. At least he deserves it.

  • The Brothers Grimm: Will you just go see The Beat That My Heart Skipped already? Please?
  • The Baxter: Unfortunately for fans of The State, we never got Solamente Doug: The Movie, Michael Showalter's deconstruction of Apartment-style romantic comedies might be the closest thing.
  • The Cave: "The plot amounts to guessing who will be killed off next out of the token Asian and African-American guys, the girl in the skimpy outfit, the sexy female scientist with an English accent and the testosterone-pumped combative brothers," and even though Cole Hauser "attempts his best Vin Diesel impersonation," he "fails to deliver even at this rudimentary level." Razzie candidate, perhaps?
  • Memory of a Killer: Manohla calls it a "nicely kinked Belgian thriller", but according to Owen Gleiberman, the whole thing barely escapes the trappings of an episode of Oprah.
  • Undiscovered: Just as we suspected, "if Ashlee Simpson appears to be playing herself, she probably is."