I swear I'm not making this up: Johnny Depp's delicate, girly hands are reportedly causing all sorts of problems on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Pirates, after all, are hard workers. Unlike actors, who prance about for a living and use a lot of lotion, pirates spend all day securing lines, raping, and pillaging. And there's no room in the hold for lotion - doubloons and grog and whatnot take up all the space. Supposedly the problem is so bad that producers are actually seeking a hand double for Depp. Presumably Keith Richards' hands are as gnarled as the rest of him, so no double will be needed for him.