Straight from the "But that doesn't make any sense!" File: Etan Cohen, a Mike Judge-cohort who has written for both King of the Hill and Beavis and Butthead, is said to be writing a movie based on Battle of the Network Stars. The 70s-80s favorite, which pitted people like Heather Locklear and Bob Newhart against one another in extreme picnic-sports challenges, has recently been resurrected on Bravo starring reality show refugees (the slutty broad from Real World Las Vegas? Check. The little person from The Amazing Race? Check!), which seemed like a bad enough idea. But a movie? How would that even be possible? Would it feature stars from the original incarnation? New network stars? Actors playing old (or new) network stars? Where would the dramatic tension come from? And who would you cast as Scott Baio? The mind truly reels.