First of all, Alba claims that she' not going to play Jeannie after all. After last night's VMAs, she told The Daily News that she just agreed to star in The Wake ("a little artsy movie") with Hayden Chistensen and Sigourney Weaver, and that as far as she knows that whole I Dream of Jeannie thing ain't happening. But wait! That's totally not even the big news. Though she's not actually in the market for baby clothes herself (at least as far as we know), Ms. Alba has decided that she knows what other people's kids ought to be wearing. So, in order to share her genius with the world, she's starting her own line of baby clothes. Debuting next spring, the line - get this - will consist of "clothing similar to what their stylish parents wear." I think I just threw up in my mouth.