Socrates: You guys have got it all wrong.
Alcibiades: What, you don't like foot massages either?
Socrates: No, motherfucker, the Iliad, you've got the Iliad all wrong. Do you wanna know what the Iliad is about? Well, I'll tell you what the Iliad is about. It ain't about no bitches, that's for fucking sure.
Alcibiades: Sure it is. You're saying Helen of Troy ain't one hot bitch?
Socrates: I'm not saying Helen of Troy ain't a hot bitch, I'm saying the Iliad ain't about her. She ain't even in it.The Odyssey is about bitches, I'll grant you that. But I'll tell you what The Iliad is about. It's about big boats. Didn't you ever read the second Canto? Boats boats boats boats boats boats boats. Hence, the Trojan War.
You can read the rest here. And if anyone sends us video of them acting this out with their friends, we'll totally post it.