Narnia

Two things terrified me when I was a kid: flying monkeys and cartoon goddamn wolves. The former, obviously, made The Wizard of Oz a very not fun experience for me, while the latter - forced upon me by The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - left me so damaged that I still twitch every time anyone says "Narnia." (Luckily for me, before this summer that only happened three times in the last decade. The last few months, however, have been a bit of a minefield.) Those wolves were nasty - snarling, and drooling horrible, cartoon drool and trying to EAT THOSE POOR CHILDREN! Honestly, it gave me nightmares for weeks. (I'm also scared, by the way, of Turkish Delight.)

All of which makes me very wary of the new, CG-laden version of the movie. I mean, good God - imagine what those wolves will look like. The brave among you, however, can register below for a chance to get a free, early look at the fangs - the screenings will take place sometime in the next couple of weeks.