So if you know the Harry Potter series at all, you know that Harry has an owl named Hedwig. This owl is special because it is magical. It is white and fluffy and perfect and coos lovingly at Harry at the most special moments. In comparison to regular owls, which are beady-eyed and hide in the forest at night awaiting the scurrying of their small prey, magical owls are much, much better. Here are seven reasons why:
- Regular owls don't love you. At all.
- Not only do regular owls not love you, they don't care if you live or die.
- If you do die, regular owls will pick at your sad, decaying flesh. Especially if you die at night. In the woods.
- Magical owls would NEVER do that. Unless you ordered them to do it, magically.
- Magical owls can be magically ordered to peck out the eyes of your enemies.
- Magical owls bring presents at Christmas time; dainty packages tied to their little legs with delicate red ribbon.
- Magical owls will never, never, never, ever shit on you.