In news that probably freaks out pretty much everyone on earth, the BBC has confessed that it is in "early development talks" with Andrew Lloyd Webber for a reality show. Agreed, that news is alarming in and of itself. But when you add to it the fact that the show - tentatively titled (wait for it) How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria - will be an American Idol-style contest to cast the lead in Webber's upcoming stage version of The Sound of Music, it becomes absolutely chilling. Me, I hate The Sound of Music with a desperate passion (Yes, I like musicals. I have no soul. I know.) and am horrified at the thought of the songs being on TV every week. Meanwhile, lovers of the movie must be equally alarmed by the realization that such a show would doubtless feature the songs they adore being butchered on a weekly basis. Plus, why would Webber leave the star of his show entirely to chance? Maybe everyone who auditions will suck - what then? I mean, this is a lose-lose situation. Someone please - make him stop!