Jack BlackWhat do you know - it turns out Jack Black was insane-in-a-good-way even back in 1999! That year, he costarred in a pilot for Fox. Titled Heat Vision and Jack and directed by Ben Stiller, the pilot told "the story of an astronaut [played by Black] who flies too close to the sun, returns to Earth with super intelligence and fights crime with the help of his talking motorcycle (voiced by Owen Wilson) and fighting the villainous Ron Silver (the actor playing himself)." Yeah, I think I'll just let that speak for itself - but it's shocking that Fox turned it down, huh?

What actually makes this relevant in 2005 (apart from the simple fact talking vehicles never lose their charm) is that Black and the pilot's writers Dan Harmon and Rob Schrab are working together in an effort to turn Heat Vision and Jack into a movie. Clearly the potential here is limitless, and the world is crying out for another* talking motorcycle movie. Seriously. Sign me up.

*I know there was at least one previous movie with this hook, because I stumbled across it in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It was 70s-looking, and our hero did a lot of riding around on a bike that I'm 95% sure chatted with him from time to time. All I remember is the guy zipping through some sort of evil roadblock, and Crow or Tom Servo yelling "DO YOU HAVE ANY FRUIT TO DECLARE?" as the bad guys tried to chase him down. Oddly, that's just not enough to allow me to dig up the title. Someone, help me out here - what the hell is it called?

EDIT: Thanks to Mark, we now know the name of talking motorcycle movie #1: it's Warrior of the Lost World.

categories Movies, Cinematical