NY Daily News gossip columnist Lloyd Grove has put a ban on all items relating to Mr. Angelina Jolie, himself, Brad Pitt. What the hell is he thinking? He's got a host of reasons, and I'm going to tear them all apart:
- "Brad's an okay actor, some of the time, and certainly a hunky movie star, most of the time - but he's no Russell Crowe...Pitt's star turns range from the bland to the ridiculous." Um...so? First of all, Pitt admittedly doesn't have much range, but he really doesn't need it – he's just such a good star, all he has to do is show up and allow us to bask in his charisma. Mr. and Mrs. Smith is proof positive of that. And Daily Dish isn't exactly Serious Thespian Daily. When a gossip column decides it's too good to report on bad actors, there's a serious problem.
- "Brad seems always to be in love ... with himself." This may or may not be accurate – I admit, I am not a serious scholar in the field of Brad Pitt interview arcana - but the quote Grove pulls to support it (blah blah blah "Jen and I did it our way" blah blah), whilst admittedly dopey, doesn't exactly make his case. Later, Grove calls Pitt "cold and shallow as thin ice on a teensy pond." He's taking Aniston's word for it – and quotes a barb hurled from Miss Friends that seems harsher than anything the probable-philanderer said in public during their split. Should Brad Pitt have left his wife for a younger model? Maybe not, but it happens all the time, and there's nothing inherently cruel, shallow or even morally wrong in falling out of love with one person and in love with someone else. It's childish and, frankly, retro for Aniston and Grove to play these victim politics.
- "Brad adopts the lifestyle, interests and passions of whatever woman he happens to be bedding ... much like dog owners who morph into their pets." Because Angelina Jolie has stupid-ass bleached blonde hair. Oh, wait - she doesn't?
- Grove corrects himself: "With Angelina ... he's adopted her children." Uh-huh - and it's made the gossip season.
- "With the world's celebrity mags and gossip columns continuing to spill oceans of ink over Brad and his adventures for the foreseeable future, I can well afford to live without him - just like Jen." I guess that remains to be seen. Jennifer Aniston is a lovely shade of beige, but I'm not sure she can fill up the empty column inches that The Banning of Brad Pitt will create.